FML and I only have me to blame. Don’t worry, no active SI since I dove head first into a serious relapse.
I think i was manipulated, gas lit and frankly, out foxed. I mean, obviously with my, “co-morbidity, residential is the appropriate level of care.” No ED treatment place would admit me to an IOP program right now. And you kept saying you could help me get into IOP, was that actual reverse psychology? Like, seriously, real psychologists really do that, not just 2-bit con men?
So now, I get to learn a hard lesson. Lovely. Because I wasn’t having enough fun already. This sucks, but I own it. I did it. I deserve what i get. You ALL tried to warn me. So many and I Ignored you, because hearing from so many of you day in an day out that something needs to change for me, apparently wasn’t enough.
Oops, I guess.
I walked away with multiple good friends. Friends that know EDs and won’t give my eating disorder what It wants. They are grounding and apparently considerably smarter, because they are going to their real lives and I’m going to fucking ED bootcamp. I’m calling it a win, so long as I accept the lesson.
This time I’m heading straight through it.
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